Realistic Optimism

Expecting success rather than failure, seeing an opportunity rather than a threat; seeing others positively; expecting the future to bring positive change, that things will be better 

 

People with this competence:

• See obstacles and bad events as temporary, surmountable, challenges to overcome;

• Have a self-talk style that springs from an outlook of expecting success; 

• Believe not only that they can succeed but also that they will succeed;

• Apply this belief to all they do, not just to a single task;

• Operate from a mindset of success rather than fear of failure;

• See success as a function of people’s motivation and ability;

• Believe bad events are not their fault; rather they are just inevitable external realities they can surmount;

• Are unfazed by defeat, and when confronted by a bad situation, they perceive it as a challenge and try harder;

• Do not see setbacks as a personal flaw; rather, they see setbacks as temporary;

• Do better at work, in school, on the playing field, and in life; and

• Enjoy better health; and may even live longer, according to recent research.

 

People lacking this competency: 

• Expect the worst;

• See setbacks as pervasive, always present and indicative of their entire life;

• Give up more easily;

• Are prone to depression; their health can suffer;

• Believe bad events will last a long time, will undermine everything they do, and even that misfortune is their own fault;

• Attribute success to luck rather than their own capabilities; and

• Feel helpless and listless most of the time.

 

Development tips:

• Tune into your self-talk about the adversity in your life;

• Examine your beliefs about the adversity, or how you interpret it;

• Take note of your feelings about these beliefs – do you feel sad, anxious, joyful, guilty? Note that pessimistic explanations result in passivity and dejection and optimistic explanations energize you;

• Dispute the negative beliefs; don’t allow them to become habitual or circle endlessly through your mind (i.e., “this is absurd, I’m blowing things out of proportion”);

• Look for evidence or alternative explanations to dispute negative beliefs (“There’s no evidence here that I’m a failure; I just messed up this time.”);

• “De-catastrophize” (term borrowed from Dr. Martin Seligman, see below)

 “Optimist: A man who gets treed by a lion but enjoys the scenery.” – Walter Winchell 

 

Great resources: 

• Learned Optimism, by Martin Seligman, Ph.D; and

• The Happiness Advantage, by Shawn Achor Positivity, by Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D.

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