Social cues are the ways in which we communicate without using words. These cues involve aspects such as facial expressions, how we move our bodies, tone of voice, our physical proximity to others, and any other way we express ourselves outside of verbal communication.
Below are 5 steps to pick up and build on social cues to improve your social awareness.
1. Watch body language. Watch people's body language in different situations. Notice how much people communicate with their bodies through gestures, posture, or head movement.
Consider that the same gestures can mean different things. For example, think about someone shrugging their shoulders. This often means “I don't know” or “I don't care.” Or consider what it means when someone crosses their arms in front of them. Sometimes it means they are wanting to pull away from the conversation (think of it as a “self-protective” type of gesture), sometimes it can express anger, or sometimes it is because the person is cold!
Imagine you had a mute button and could turn off the sound: Do you think you could figure out the context of the conversation by watching how people move?
2. Listen to tone of voice. You can say the same words, but change your tone of voice, and the words will take on different meanings. A person's tone of voice conveys the emotion behind the words.
For example, think about how “I'm fine” sounds when someone is saying it in a friendly tone of voice, versus saying it in an angry tone of voice.
Test out your tone of voice by repeating a sentence, imagining you are feeling something different each time. How does “You scared me!” sound when you are pretending to be happy, shocked, angry, or sad?
3. Watch facial expressions. People have very expressive faces. Even when we try our best to conceal our emotions, they are often present on our faces anyway.
Look in a mirror and act out how you think you look when you are bored, happy, annoyed, or excited.
Facial expressions can often be very subtle, and it can sometimes take a while to discern them. For example, when people are genuinely happy, they smile with their eyes. You can see their eyes get crinkly in the corners. In a less genuine smile, the eyes don't change as much, and oftentimes the lips remain closed.
Consider how the similar facial expressions often indicate different emotions. A frown can indicate sadness or anger, for example, or an open mouth can indicate fear or surprise. If you can't figure out what the person is feeling from their facial expression, look for other nonverbal clues, like their tone of voice or body language.
4. Examine physical distance. Watch how close or far apart people stand from each other. You can tell a lot about a relationship by the space between two people. Pay attention to your own physical distance as well.
People who are in an intimate relationship may stand with no distance at all between them, while friends may stand closer together than work colleagues.
If you are standing too close to someone, then you might notice that they keep moving away, turning away, leaning back, or crossing arms or legs. If you are too far away from someone, then you might notice that they are leaning in, squinting, furrowing their brow, or looking around and showing only mild interest in the conversation.
5. Watch how people react to what you say. People's responses can help keep you aware of your behavior. Watch their nonverbal cues and listen to what they say.
For example, a person who says, “That's great!” while slowly backing away probably does not want to have a conversation with you right now.
A person who is leaning toward you, smiling and making eye contact, is probably genuinely interested in what you have to say, and you can take that as a cue to continue.
Комментарии