"I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know; the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve." — Albert Schweitzer For many of us, when we see the term “service orientation,” our minds go to customer service. Good customer service is the lifeblood of any business. We can offer promotions and slash prices to bring in new customers, but unless we can get those customers to come back, our business will not be successful in the long run. In social and emotional intelligence, the term “service orientation” is similar, but applies a bit more broadly. In fact, we tend to view just about all of our social interactions as being oriented toward service. It starts with empathy, and listening for what another person needs from us, and includes a strong measure of respect and helpfulness. Of course, our customers include those we serve in our businesses (our “external customers”), as well as our employees and colleagues (as “internal customers).” In fact, our “customers” include just about anyone -- our patients, our students, our neighbors, our parishioners, our citizens. A customer is any person or organization who benefits from our services in our many roles, as parents, family members, neighbors, friends, colleagues, employees. Everyone is a “customer.” People remember their interactions with us, and if they are treated in a helpful, respectful manner. The quality of these interactions drives their perception of satisfaction with their experience of us. Even the research on satisfactory marriages is driven by the quality of interaction. Dr. John Gottman has been studying successful and failed marriages for over 35 years, and can predict with 94 percent accuracy whether a couple will divorce. The key to determining failed marriages involves what Gottman calls “destructive behaviors” including criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling and contempt – exactly the opposite of practicing an orientation of helpfulness and service. Contempt and condescension are also predictive of another type of legal action: malpractice suits. Doctors who treat their patients with care, consideration, respect, helpfulness, indeed, an orientation toward service, are sued less frequently than doctors who treat their patients with condescension. Even when caring doctors make a medical error, they are not sued as often as doctors lacking a service orientation. So what does it mean to practice “service orientation”? The following seven factors are an important beginning to practicing service orientation: 1. Being available. It means being there. It means answering the phone. It means turning your full attention away from the computer monitor and toward the person standing in your doorway. It means turning off the TV and reading a story to a child, or truly listening to a teenager. It means being available when she wants “to talk.” 2. Being helpful, even if there is no immediate reward for it. It means knowing what is important to another and helping them achieve or acquire it. It means identifying and anticipating another’s needs. It means helping another find solutions. It means helping with the dishes without being asked or paying the bills on time. Most needs are emotional rather than logical. The more you know, listen to and truly hear another, the better you know and understand them, and the more you can help them. The other day, I dropped into my local watch repair shop because I had lost the little piece that clips the pieces of my leather watchband together. The proprietor said he thought he had one around, found it, and attached it to my watchband. When I asked how much I owed him, he said “nothing.” This was a small thing, but very, very helpful to me, and where do you think I will go next time I need a new watchband, battery or even a new watch? 3. Going above and beyond. Some would call this “delighting the customer.” It means giving more than expected. On a recent flight from Denver to San Francisco, the Southwest Airlines pilot came on and said a warning light had come on in the cockpit and we would need to return to Denver. He indicated there was no need to be concerned, but that it did need to be checked out. The flight crew came through the cabin immediately and distributed blank pieces of paper, asking each of us to write down our names and addresses. They collected the papers and told us that when we landed, they would do everything possible to get us on another flight to San Francisco. Sure enough, when we entered the terminal, they already had a replacement plane at another gate. We boarded and took off in minutes. About two weeks later, I received a letter from the Southwest customer service people apologizing again for the inconvenience, telling me what the original problem was, and enclosing a $150 gift certificate I could use on any future flight. By contrast, returning to Denver from San Francisco on United Airlines (different flight), I was told on arriving at the San Francisco airport that my 5:30 flight to Denver had been cancelled (no reason given) and that I was put on a flight 3 hours later, at about 8:45, getting me into Denver close to midnight. It occurred to me that if I had cancelled my flight with United and taken a later flight, it would have cost me a change fee of $150 - $200. But United could simply change my schedule without any consideration or even an apology, and I was left to sit and wait in the airport for the later flight. Guess which airline I have frequent flyer miles with now? In my experience, Southwest never fails to delight. They always go above and beyond. 4. Making others feel important, appreciated and respected. And listened to. There’s nothing more exasperating than telling someone what you want, what you need or what the problem is, and discovering that the other person was not paying attention and needs to have it explained again. We want to treat others as individuals, use their name, and demonstrate sincere appreciation. Have you noticed when you enter Starbucks they always greet you with a smile, and if they know your name, they use it and ask if you’ll be having your usual grande non-fat latte? 5. Greeting others in a friendly and courteous manner. This means saying good morning with a genuine smile when you arrive at work in the morning. (I can’t tell you how many times in my executive coaching practice that I hear from my client’s colleagues that “she doesn’t even say hello when she walks by my desk every morning.”) It means welcoming the family home in the evening. It means making eye contact, smiling, and asking a customer “how can I help you today?” People prefer to interact with people who are cheerful, who smile and behave in a sincerely friendly manner, and who seem to have a passion for being of service. We prefer to interact with people who seem eager to help.
6. Having a “YES attitude.” A “yes” attitude encompasses all these points. Custom order? No problem. Early delivery? No problem (IF it can be done – don’t promise and then not deliver – see below). Return for full credit? No problem. Read me a story mommy? Absolutely! We want to be as positive as possible to the requests that come our way (within reason). 7. Making promises you can keep. Reliability and follow-through is one of the keys to any good relationship. If you promise something will be delivered on Tuesday, make sure it is. Otherwise, don’t promise it. This applies to appointments, deadlines, and assurances you will be home for dinner or will make it to the school play. Think before making any promise – because nothing destroys trust and relationships more than a broken one.
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