Relationship Management - Building Rapport
- frankquattromani
- Jun 14, 2021
- 3 min read
Rapport is about understanding other people and showing a genuine interest in them. When we have rapport, communication becomes easier and more effective. Sometimes we can naturally ‘hit it off’ with people without really having to try, but rapport is also something that you can work on with a little practice. Here we look at ways in which you can build rapport with others.
1. Remember the basics
When it comes to developing rapport, don’t forget the basics of good communication. Create a good foundation for building rapport by:
Maintaining good eye contact rather than looking away.
Smiling.
Referring to the other person by name.
Asking open-ended questions.
Being sincere and showing a genuine interest in others.
Giving the other person your full attention.
2. Find some common ground
Finding some common ground with another person provides a great opportunity to develop rapport. Start by asking some open-ended questions to encourage the other person to talk about themselves. Listen to what they say and look for shared experiences and interests, as this will give you more to talk about. For example, did you perhaps go to the same school or college, do you know the same people or perhaps have similar hobbies and interests? Focus on the similarities you can find, rather than the differences.
3. Perfect your ‘small talk’
Small talk can help conversations flow where they might otherwise falter. Have some good conversation topics ready which you can use to first break the ice and then keep things going if the conversation starts to dry up. You can chat about the weather, how you travelled to where you are or what you are doing at the weekend. Perhaps you have read an interesting book recently or seen a good film that you can talk about. Remember to keep things light and stick to safe, non-argumentative topics!
4. Put yourself in their shoes
Also known as showing empathy, this is about understanding other people by being able to see things from their perspective, and recognising their emotions. You can do this by using your imagination, or thinking back to a time when you were in a similar situation and reflecting back your thoughts.
5. Use mirroring
Mirroring is a useful technique you can use to get ‘into sync’ with another person and build rapport. It uses a combination of body language, words and phrases and tone of voice:
Body language. Be aware of the other person's body language - specifically their posture (how they stand) any gestures (such as hand movements) or facial expressions they make. If they are seated with their legs crossed and their hands folded, then you can subtly mirror this.
Words and phrases. Look out for certain key words and phrases that the other person uses, and drop them into the conversation if you can.
Tone of voice. Copy the other person's speech patterns, such their tone of voice and how loudly or softly they speak. If the other person speaks softly and slowly, then lower the volume and tempo of your voice as well.
Tip: Be careful not to go overboard, as too much mirroring can run the risk of offending the other person. Although mirroring is a good tool to help build rapport, it is important to use it sparingly, and not try to match every word and gesture.
Summary: Rapport is one of the most important features of good communication. It helps you build good relationships with other people in all areas of your life. Why not try out some of the rapport building tips and see the difference it can make!
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