Learned Optimism and the ABCDE Method (From Learned Optimism, by Martin Seligman, Ph.D.)
If you hang your mental response to adversity, you can cope with setbacks much better. The main tool for changing your interpretations of adversity is disputation. Practice disputing your automatic interpretations of events. When you find yourself down or anxious or angry, ask what you are saying to yourself. Sometimes the beliefs will turn out to be accurate; when this is so, concentrate on the ways you can alter the situation and prevent adversity from becoming disaster. But usually your negative beliefs are distortions. Challenge them. Don’t let them run your emotional life. Learned optimism is easy to maintain once you start. Once you get into the habit of disputing negative beliefs, your daily life will run much better and you will feel much happier. Let’s begin.
Create an ABC record
A = adversity, B = belief, C = consequence.
Example 1:
A. You and your significant other have a fight.
B. You think “I never do anything right.”
C. You feel (or do) ______________________________________________
Example 2:
A. You and your significant other have a fight.
B. You think, “She (or he) was in an awful mood.”
C. You feel (or do) ____________________________________________________
Example 3:
A. You and your significant other have a fight.
B. You think, “This is a misunderstanding, and I am good at clearing up misunderstandings.”
C. You feel (or do) ____________________________________________________
In the first example, you think, “I never do anything right.” (permanent, pervasive, personal) You might feel depressed or sad and not try to do anything to heal the breach. If, as in the second example, you think, “He was in an awful mood”. (temporary and external) You will feel some anger, a little dejection, and only temporary immobility. When the mood clears, you’ll probably do something to make up. If, as in the third example, you think, “I can always clear up misunderstandings,” you will act to make up and you soon will feel pretty good and full of energy.
Keep an ABC diary for the next day or two, just long enough for you to record five ABCs from your own life. To do this, tune in on the perpetual dialogue that takes place in your mind.
“Adversity” can be almost anything – a leaky faucet, a frown from a friend, a crying baby, a large bill, inattentive spouse.
Be objective – just record our description of what happened, not your evaluation of it. So if you have an argument with your spouse, you might write down that he was unhappy with something you said or did. Record that. But do not record, “he was unfair” under “Adversity” – that’s an inference and should be recorded under “Belief.” Your beliefs are how you interpret the adversity.
Be sure to separate thoughts from feelings. Feelings go under “Consequences.” “I feel incompetent” is belief and can be evaluated. “I feel sad” expresses a feeling. I doesn’t make sense to check the accuracy of “I feel sad” – if you feel sad, you are sad.
In the “Consequences” section record our feelings and what you did. Did you feel sad, anxious, joyful, guilty, or whatever? Often you will feel more than one thing. Write down as many feelings and actions as you are aware of. What did you then do? “I had no energy,” or “I made a plan to get him to apologize,” or “I went to bed” are all consequent actions.
Here are some examples:
Adversity: My husband was supposed to give the kids their bath and put them to bed but when I got home from my meeting they were all glued to the TV.
Belief: Why can’t he do what I ask him? Is it such a hard thing to give them their bath and put them to bed? Now I’m going to look like the heavy when I break up their little party.
Consequences: I was really angry with Jack and started yelling without first giving him a chance to explain. I walked into the room and snapped off the TV without even a ‘hello” first. I looked like the heavy.
Adversity: I decided to join a gym, and when I walked into the place I saw nothing but firm, toned bodies all around me.
Belief: What am I doing here? I look like a beached whale compared to these people! I should get out of here while I still have my dignity.
Consequences: I felt totally self-conscious and ended up leaving after 15 minutes.
Now it’s your turn. Over the next couple of days, record five ABC sequences from your life. Use the form on the next page (and make additional copies if necessary).
Adversity:
Belief:
Consequence:
Adversity:
Belief:
Consequence:
Adversity:
Belief:
Consequence:
Adversity:
Belief:
Consequence:
Adversity:
Belief:
Consequence:
When you have recorded your five ABC episodes read them over carefully. Look for the link between your belief and the consequences. What you will see is that pessimistic explanations set off passivity and dejection, whereas optimistic explanations energize.
The next step follows immediately. If you change the habitual beliefs that follow adversity for you, your reaction to adversity will change. A highly reliable way to change pessimistic beliefs once you are aware of them is to dispute them. Successfully disputed beliefs are less likely to recur when the same situation presents itself again.
The most convincing way of disputing a negative belief is to show that it is factually incorrect. Since pessimistic reactions to adversity are so often overreactions, adopt the role of detective and ask, “What is the evidence for this belief?” or “What alternative explanations might there be?”
This is now the ABCDE approach – we are adding two steps – disputing our beliefs and examining the evidence behind them, or seeking alternative explanations.
It is important to note the difference between this and the “power of positive thinking.” Positive thinking often involves trying to believe upbeat statements such as “Every day, in every way I’m getting better and better.” In the absence of evidence, this may be hard to believe. Learned optimism, on the other hand, is about accuracy and examining our negative beliefs.
Usually the negative beliefs that follow adversity are inaccurate. Learned optimism works not through an unjustifiable positivity about the world, but through the power of “non-negative” thinking.
So now, I’d like to request you practice the ABCDE method. You already know what ABC stands for. D is for disputation; E is for energization. You will find that in disputing your negative beliefs, you will feel energized and able to take positive action.
During the next five adverse events you face, listen closely for your beliefs, observe the consequences, and dispute your beliefs vigorously. Look for evidence to dispute your beliefs. Then observe the energization that occurs as you succeed in dealing with the negative beliefs, and record all of this.
For example:
Adversity: I threw a dinner party to celebrate a new friend’s birthday, and she barely touched her food.
Belief: The food was awful. I’m a lousy cook. I might as well forget getting to know her any better. I’m lucky she didn’t get up and leave in the middle of dinner.
Consequence: I felt really disappointed and angry with myself. I was so embarrassed about my cooking that I wanted to avoid her for the rest of the night. Obviously, things didn’t go as I’d hoped.
Disputation: This is ridiculous. I know the food wasn’t awful [evidence]. She may not have eaten very much, but everyone else did [evidence]. There could be a hundred reasons why she didn’t eat much [alternatives]. She could be on a diet, she might not have been feeling well, she might just have a small appetite [alternatives]. Even though she didn’t eat much, she did seem to enjoy the dinner [evidence]. She told some funny stories, and she seemed to be relaxed [evidence]. She even offered to help with dishes [evidence]. She wouldn’t have done that if she was repulsed by me or the food [evidence and alternative].
Energization: I didn’t feel nearly as embarrassed or angry, and I realized that if I avoided her, then I really would hurt my chances of getting to know her better. Basically, I was able to relax and not let my imagination ruin the evening for me.
Okay, now you do it in your daily life over the next week. Don’t seek out adversity, but as it comes along, tune in carefully to your internal dialogue. When you hear the negative beliefs, dispute them. Beat them into the ground. Then record the ABCDE.
Adversity:
Belief:
Consequences:
Disputation:
Energization:
Great! Now keep going using this format until you have established a new habit of mind.
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