Skillful influencing is more than just effective communication. You can communicate clearly and often and still not achieve your desired results. Good communication skills can be learned, and chances are, you’ve already developed a good many. But success in influencing also requires you to have the ability to read other people and the situation. And it means having the discipline to hold a clear goal in mind while selecting and using the behaviours that are likely to lead you toward that goal.
Good influencing skills help you:
Manage and lead more effectively;
Get you more directly to your strategic objectives; and
Gain confidence, achieve results, build a better track record and resolve conflict more effectively.
Influence is different from power. Power is about strength and authority. It’s about control. People resist people who try to control too much. Power is about something you have, but influence is about something you do.
Using influencing skills and behaviour rather than power sends a message of respect to the other person. It results in action that is voluntary rather than coerced. As a result, quality is improved. Timelines are met. Productivity is improved. People have enthusiasm for what they are doing.
More and more we are finding we have to get things done through other people, particularly the higher one goes in an organization, rather than through trying to use sheer power alone.
So here are just a few tips on honing and using your influencing skills:
Use consultation – get others to participate in decisions and changes. People own what they help create.
Use rational persuasion – use logic, facts, data, particularly if the person (or people) you are working with like facts and data.
Use inspirational appeals – build enthusiasm by appealing to others’ emotions, ideals or values (for example, to be the best or for the good of the community or the organization). Excitement and passion can rally support to a cause.
Know your coalitions and enlist others in supporting your efforts to influence.
Develop a communication strategy that makes your message more readily acceptable – for example, make sure there’s something in it for the other party if possible. Plan ahead; make agreement easy.
Ask for the help you need. It’s okay to ask, and people often want to help. They just need to be asked. Express your needs and your vision for what needs to be done, and enlist and encourage others to join you. What is your vision for success? What role do you see others playing in that success, in that vision? Be clear about what you want and ask others to join in and assist you.
Seek first to understand – this age-old maxim was made popular by Stephen Covey in his book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, and is quite powerful when applied to influencing. Understanding others requires us to take the view of the other person as a means of understanding where their resistance might be coming from, and also gives us insights into understanding what might be “in it for them.” In addition, some people simply can’t move off of a topic or a position until they feel they’ve been truly heard. Ask them what they think and listen carefully. Acknowledge what you’ve heard them say, so they know they’ve been heard. You both gain benefits. You might get some good ideas, and they will appreciate the respect you demonstrate by asking them.
Develop relationships with everyone, at every level both inside and outside the organization. People support the ideas of people they know and like. Keep those relationships alive. You never know when they might come in handy.
Hone the ability to tell a story. The best stories are about personal and group identity. Stories inspire, motivate, and mobilize.
Appreciate support – thank people and be grateful for their support and aid. Acknowledgement goes a long way toward sustaining your influence.
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