What have you been telling yourself lately?
Self-talk, is very revealing. That little voice that sits on your shoulder and whispers into your ear can be either an antagonist or an ally. What you tell yourself goes immediately to your subconscious where it increases or decreases your anger, frustration or other emotions.
Repeated negative self-talk leads to exaggerated and irrational thinking.
Below is a tool to help manage your self talk.
Directions: Make a check in the left-hand column next to any of the following statements you have said to yourself lately.
They always take me for granted. _____________________________________
I’m always late. ___________________________________________________
No one ever helps me. _____________________________________________
Everyone gets paid more than I do. ____________________________________
No one listens to me. _______________________________________________
It’ll always be this way. _____________________________________________
Everything I do gets messed up. _____________________________________
I never get the credit I deserve. ______________________________________
They don’t appreciate how hard I work/how much I care. __________________
Other: __________________________________________________________
Now that you are more aware of your self-talk, ask yourself why you say those things? To the right of each remark you checked, list some questions that you could ask to help you change to become less negative. (Example: if you are late, why are you late? Are you only late to meetings? Be as specific as possible).
Also list the things you can do to change the situation. (Example: if you feel your work is not appreciated, could you create a list of accomplishments and bring them in to a meeting with your supervisor? If someone else is taking credit for your work, what can you do to become more assertive?
Again, be as specific as possible.) And for each negative message you receive from your inner antagonist, craft a positive, “ally” message to replace the negative voice. Remember the law of attraction:
Whatever we focus on is what we attract.
If we think in the negative, we’ll attract the negative; and most importantly, if we think in the positive, we’ll attract the positive.
How can you be your own best ally?
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