There are four levels of communication: superficial, fact, thought, and feeling. With some people, you never get past the first two levels – the superficial level and the level of simply discussing facts. To increase your skills of empathy, you want to reach that last level and share your feelings with others more openly so that they will in turn open up to you. This appropriate self-disclosure also increases others’ trust in you, improving communication overall.
Directions: Break into groups. Each person should have this worksheet. You will fill out the first line asking for a superficial comment. You will then pass your paper to the person on your right, while getting a new worksheet from the person on your left. Fill in line two where you will write down a fact. Continue passing the worksheets until all four lines are filled and your original paper comes back to you. See the examples to get the idea, but make up new statements.
1. Superficial statement ________________________________________________________________
(e.g., “Hi, how are you?”)
2. State a fact
________________________________________________________________
(e.g., “I have a cold.”)
3. Express a thought ________________________________________________________________
(e.g., “I think there’s something going around.”)
4. Share a feeling
________________________________________________________________
Read others’ comments on your sheet and see if you agree with their categorization. Offer your best examples to the trainer for a group list on the flip chart. Consider how switching levels of communication can help others to manage their emotions. For example, if someone is very angry, it may help to switch from feelings to facts.
What are we listening for? What is the other person’s emotional state? What are they feeling?
Share and discuss.
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