Global Forgiveness Day is a refreshing reminder of the benefits that letting go of anger and resentment can have not just for the other party, but for our own mental wellbeing. Perhaps it's yourself you need to forgive? Now is your chance.
Forgiveness can be freeing, but it's easier said than done. Here are some tips:
Practice separating your emotion from the cause: When we express anger, we often connect it with the story of the source of the anger. Instead of thinking 'I am angry/upset/hurt because X acted in this way', try focusing on the first part: You are angry, upset, or hurt. Disconnecting the cause from the emotion helps to reduce the intensity of the emotion and can make it much easier to let go of.
Remember that forgiveness doesn't mean approval: Forgiving means letting go of anger and accepting what happened. It doesn't mean condoning harmful behaviour, and it is possible (and healthy) to forgive while also taking steps toward protecting yourself in the future. You can even let go of the relationship, but still forgive.
Express how you feel: This might involve having a conversation with the other person, but that may not always be productive if the other person is not willing to acknowledge the hurt they have caused. Instead, try writing down your feelings as a journal entry or letter. Don't send the letter, but write about what you experienced and how forgiving will help you move on.
Think about what you'll gain: Instead of dwelling over the negative experience, focus on what you'll gain by letting go of your anger. It will allow you to move on and direct your energy toward things that are going to bring you joy and contentment.
Take a minute to think about anyone you may be angry with, even if that anger is not fresh. Then decide to let go. You'll be surprised how good you feel.
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