Empathy - 3 Tips to Practice Empathy in the Workplace
- frankquattromani
- May 1, 2023
- 2 min read
What are practical tips that managers can apply to practice empathy at work?
1. Stay uncertain and curious.
As we go through life, we’re constantly making assumptions, educated guesses and predictions – it’s part of how our brains work. These assumptions and guesses, however, are not neutral. There are many well-known cognitive biases that distort our perceptions — one is called actor-observer bias. It’s the tendency to assume that other people’s actions are due to permanent personality traits, while our less-than-ideal actions happen because of external circumstances. Here’s an idea: Err on the side of compassion. Even if you don’t know what someone is going through, assume there is a lot more to the iceberg than you can see, and choose to practice empathy, even if it requires some imagination.
2. Embrace the discomfort of going deeper.
In conversations with thousands of business leaders and employees over the past 25 years, Six Seconds CEO Joshua Freedman says one trait comes up again and again to describe exceptional leaders: They go deeper emotionally – not just caring, but personal caring.
What holds you or your managers back from doing this? Here are some common reasons:
I have too many tasks to do, so not enough time for messy emotions
I subconsciously subscribe to the belief that it’s better to “leave emotions out of it” at work, even though research suggests this isn’t an effective strategy
I’m afraid of unformfortabe feelings myself
Here’s an emotional intelligence tip to go deeper: Instead of ignoring tension when you sense it, bring it up in a neutral, curious way. “I’m noticing a little tension, is everything alright?” Or “Something seems off, is that just me or do you feel it, too?” Here’s how.
Showing vulnerability is hard, and does have potential costs. But always staying on the surface has real downsides, too. We end up with complicated and conflicting perspectives, and we’re not as accurate in our perceptions. When we go deeper, we gain clarity and build connections.
3. Offer support and ask appropriate questions based on your trust level.
For managers’ empathic actions to be effective, trust is essential. Engaging people starts with trust. In this series of articles, Six Seconds CEO Josh Freedman gives practical tips to assess, earn and request trust. One strategy he recommends to go deeper is to ask questions based on your current trust level +1. For a coworker you don’t know at all, the +1, could just be saying, “I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. It sounds really challenging.” For a coworker with whom you have built up some mutual trust, the +1 could be something like, “Do you want to talk about it, or you got this?” Remember, too, that the context of that conversation matters.
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