Sensing others’ feelings and perspectives, and taking an active interest in their concerns; the ability to put yourself in another's place and to take that perspective into account in your relationship with the other person.
People with this competence:
Are attentive to and able to attune to a wide range of emotional signals;
Listen for and sense the felt, but unspoken emotions in a person or group;
Show sensitivity to and understand others’ perspectives and feelings – they can “walk a mile in the other person's moccasins”; and
Are able to help the other person or the group based on an accurate understanding of their needs and feelings.
People lacking this competency:
Stereotype others;
Show no understanding, misunderstand, or are surprised by others’ feelings or actions;
Often come into conflict;
Cannot “read” people and what they are thinking and feeling;
Tend to act without considering how others might feel about something; and
Come across as indifferent or uncaring.
Development tips:
Listening is the key to empathy. Quiet your mind, still the inner clamor, and listen deeply for more than the other person’s words. Listen for the other person’s needs (i.e., to be respected, to be included, to be acknowledged?);
Identify underlying concerns that are not explicitly stated by others;
Hear the emotions that accompany an expressed statement;
Listen when someone approaches you to express their feelings (don’t be so busy you can’t talk with the other person about what’s important to them; don’t brush them off);
Acknowledge what you think you’ve heard. Paraphrase, repeat back, and clarify the emotions you think you are hearing (i.e. “Sounds like you’re feeling frustrated,” or ”Sounds like you’re pretty excited by this project”); and
Withhold your judgments; when temped to criticize or dismiss the opinions of another, stop. Step back and consider, on an emotional level as well as a cognitive level, what the other person may be experiencing and what merits another’s point of view may have.
“If there is any great secret of success in life, it lies in the ability to put yourself in the other person’s place and to see things from his point of view – as well as your own.” – Henry Ford
“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion.” - Dale Carnegie
“Maturity begins to grow when you can sense your concern for others outweighing your concern for yourself.” - John MacNaughton
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