As a Professional Coach you are eager to help your clients succeed. However there are some pitfalls that the Coach should be aware of.
#1 – Thinking that you have to have all the answers Professional coaching is not about you. It’s about your client. You don’t have to have all the answers. They do. Your job is to make sure that their goals and ways to achieve them are both realistic and achievable. You are there as a sounding board, to inspire and motivate and if necessary to stimulate (or prod!) them into action. You are the one who provides gentle persuasion, constant encouragement or, at times, a more confronting inducement. Your job is to develop a trusting, long-term relationship with your clients so that they succeed in any and every way that they can.
#2 –Talking more than listening This is a common problem for those starting out as a Professional Coach. You get nervous and unsure of yourself and feel that you have to say something to ‘fill the gap’. But, believe me, your client is more nervous than you! All you have to do is remember to ask a few leading questions, like ‘What is the most important thing that we need to discuss today?’ or ‘What brought you to this session?’, then sit back and listen to what the client is saying. Don’t interrupt, just let them speak. Ask questions to clarify or confirm what you have heard, but let them keep talking until their story has been told. Then summarise what you have heard and offer some observations, without assuming or judging what they have said. This is their truth from their perspective. Your job is to tease this out, so that the reality comes to the fore.
#3 – Becoming too involved with the client and / or the situation When you become too close to the client your objectivity and judgment may become impaired, to the point where you could possibly become part of the problem rather than the solution. In this case you need to take a step back and ask yourself if what you are saying and doing with the client is what any other Coach would say or do. If it is, you’re OK. If not, you need to create some distance between yourself and the client so that complete objectivity can return. One way to do this would be to conduct some sessions by phone rather than meeting in person. This creates a physical distance between you and the client, and allows you to think more clearly about the situation and how you can add value in the long-term.
#4 – Rushing the client towards a goal and actions Wanting to help the client get into action quickly sometimes leads to pursuing a false goal or one that is of lesser importance than others. Whilst sometimes there may be some ‘low hanging fruit’ (quick and easy goals) that can be ‘ticked off’ by taking quick action, often it’s better to explore the situation fully before proceeding.
The Coach should start by asking a lot of questions so as to get a complete and comprehensive understanding of where the client is coming from. Work with the client to identify a number of goals that they wish to pursue and then prioritise them to ensure they are in order and not conflicting. Spend almost the whole session delving into what the client wants as their ‘bigger picture’ dream before proceeding to identify the key goals to start working towards.
#5 – Sticking to conventional wisdom Your role as Coach is to ensure the best outcomes for your client. Often clients come to you with half developed ideas or inklings of what they want but they can’t quite explain what this is. Your job is to delve deeper to bring out what it is they are really seeking. Having done this, your next job is to identify, with them, how to get it - how to achieve the goal. It is tempting to take the ‘tried and proven’ method to bring about this change, and in many cases this is the appropriate course of action. However, and especially in unconventional situations, it may be necessary to have the client consider some ‘out of the box’ solutions. For example, if what they want is outside their skill or knowledge area, who do they know who can provide this expertise or make this happen? If they were to reach even further into their contacts, or their contact’s contacts, would this bring forth a better person / solution. Use ‘what if’ scenarios to imagine the best possible outcome and encourage your clients to aspire to the greatest heights to bring about the greatest change.
#6 – Failing to refer a difficult situation In the coaching session you may sometimes be confronted with situations that are outside the knowledge and skills required of a Coach. For example, a client may reveal serious issues such as domestic violence and abuse within the family, demonstrate erratic or compulsive behaviour, speak of self-harm etc. These issues are not for you as a Coach to address. Instead you need to indicate to the client that before coaching can proceed, they need to seek out the assistance of a medical doctor or psychologist to support them. After these issues have been resolved, you will then be in a position to help them move on with their life.
#7 – Having confused allegiances
On occasions, the person you are coaching may not be the person who is paying the bill. Usually it is, but sometimes it is not. In this case, you may at times feel conflicted about whose best interests you are serving. For example, a parent may want you to coach their ‘wayward’ teenage son. They are paying for your services, but it is the son who will benefit from them (as will the family indirectly). It is important to always keep in mind, and explain to the parent at the outset, that the son is your client. He is the one whose best interests you will be looking out for. This clarification needs to be made upfront with the parent so that they do not expect you to be ‘reporting back’ to them on the sessions with their son. Instead, at the end of each session, it is often a good idea to work with the son to help him make a summary of what went on so that he can ‘report’ this back to his parent after the session has concluded. However, what really happened during the session is between him and you - no one else. His parent will only get the summarised version from him – the information that he wants them to know about. And you have preserved your relationship with him as your client.
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