Confidence is the key to success, piece of mind and wellbeing. Having self-confidence boosts your self-esteem and helps you achieve your goals.
Self-confidence is all about having faith in your own abilities. By trusting these abilities, you will be able to deal with anything. It is not something you are necessarily born with, but it is a behaviour or a way of approaching things that can be learned.
Building confidence
Very few people can claim to be totally self-confident and most would like to be more confident in certain areas of their lives. You are likely to feel confident:
when you know what you’re talking about
when you do something you’ve done well before
when you are with people you trust
Whenever you are faced with a new challenge or are asked to do something you don’t like, you may feel a lack of confidence. You may worry that it won’t go well, that your performance will be disappointing, and you will come out of it with a poor image.
There are a number of ways you can build up your confidence to deal with these types of situation. The first step is to decide what your lack of confidence is about. It could be due to:
a lack of information
a lack of preparedness
a need to discuss your ideas with someone else who has more knowledge than you
All of these are easily dealt with – you can work on finding out more information, you can be prepared and you should be able to find someone who will go through your ideas with you.
Finding confidence
However, sometimes it is not easy to define where your lack of confidence comes from. All you know is that the thought of doing something or making a change fills you with dread, making you shrink back into your comfort zone. However, there are ways of dealing with this:
Looking at and challenging your beliefs about yourself. The biggest barrier to self-confidence is the belief “I’m not a confident person” or “I’m not able to do this”. Confront your fears and ask what you are so afraid of. When you break it down, it may be something you can deal with. However, you have to try in order to succeed.
Recognising your abilities, talents and successes. Some people are so good at telling themselves about their weaknesses, that they have lost the ability to recognise their strengths and successes, however small. Focusing on and highlighting your strengths helps you achieve more personal satisfaction and helps others build their confidence in your abilities.
Achieving small challenges. Pushing yourself a little, and making progress in small steps increases your confidence, sometimes very considerably. You need to take small risks to gain huge rewards. For example, at your next team meeting, volunteer to organise the next social event.
Learning to make decisions and prioritise your tasks. Being focused and well-organised can boost your self-confidence.
Being aware of your verbal and non-verbal language. Confidence can mean not feeling threatened by anybody. In terms of body language, stay relaxed, stand upright and try not to wrap your arms around your body or slouch. When you are speaking, take deep breaths and speak slowly and purposefully.
Dressing comfortably and appropriately for a given situation. You’ll be amazed at how this can change your mood and performance and the way others interact with you.
How to appear more confident
It's interesting how impressions can make people think that you're confident. Picture anyone you know that you think of as highly confident – what characteristics do they have that make you think this? It's most likely one or more of the things in this list:
the way they speak (tone, how they project their voice, words)
their energy and enthusiasm
how expert or knowledgeable they are about something
Consider which of these you could develop and vow to do something about it today.
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