Self-confidence is a great personal attribute. But if you're lacking self-belief, try these top tips to build up your confidence and self-esteem.
Devote time and energy to developing your self-confidence
Accept that you are not self-confident at the moment but you want to be, and take it from there. Understand that it will take time to develop, it won’t happen overnight. By making a commitment to developing your self-confidence and taking advantage of any opportunity to build your confidence, no matter how daunting it may seem, your confidence can only improve.
Acknowledge your talents and accept your limitations
Confident people are aware of their own strengths and weaknesses, and are comfortable with other people knowing what these are. Make a list of your strong points – all the things you are good at doing and all the things you like about yourself. It can sometimes be difficult so think about compliments you may have received in the past, or things that you do which seem to come easily to you. At the same time, recognise your limitations but don't be too hard on yourself. Allowing yourself to be proud of your achievements, no matter how small, will give you a strong foundation for building self-esteem.
Share your knowledge
Once you have acknowledged your strengths, skills and expertise, find a way to share them with other people. For example, if you are a good organiser, volunteer to arrange the next office Christmas party. Your self-confidence will grow when you share your talents with other people who appreciate them.
Be realistic
Being honest with yourself about your abilities will ensure that you do not demand something of yourself that is unattainable. This is just setting yourself up for a fall, which will make you feel worse. Instead, set realistic goals and make plans to achieve them. If your plans do not work, or you encounter any setbacks, don't give up. Simply learn from your mistakes, revise the plans and start again.
Have a positive attitude
Take on new challenges with enthusiasm and don't be afraid of failure. Associate with positive, successful people who you admire for their self-confidence and attitude. Observe and imitate their actions and the behaviours that make them seem self-confident. If it is possible, find a mentor from this group, who can offer you advice and tips, and feel your confidence start to grow.
Learn how to cope with rejection
Rejection is inevitable and you will have to deal with it at some point. Overcome rejection by always remembering that what you think of yourself matters much more than what you believe other people think of you. Ask for feedback when you have been criticised and take on board any constructive criticism when it is offered to you.
Think about how you present yourself
Your appearance can go a long way towards projecting an image of self-confidence. Looking your best at all times will help you to feel good about yourself, which in turn will give you an air of self-confidence.
Develop your conversational skills
Don't butt in on conversations. Take a few minutes to listen to what is being said, wait for an opening, and ease yourself in gradually. Make sure that any contributions you make are about the subject being discussed and try not to make flippant or off-the-wall comments. Try initiating conversations with people you don't know: a simple comment about the weather is usually a good start.
Practise
Build up your confidence by doing things that would normally fill you with dread, e.g. volunteering to organise an event or speaking up at meetings. It will be hard to appear confident at first, but don't give up. If you practise this regularly, self-confidence will soon become a natural part of your personality.
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