Do you often look at confident people and wish you could be like them? Well, the good news is you can!
Confidence isn't something people are born with - it's something that's learned and mastered over time. But how? Here are ten useful tips for boosting your own self-confidence.
Try to employ them daily and your confidence will soon grow.
1. Pretend! Act brave on the outside, even if you’re trembling on the inside. Your team members will read your body language and facial expressions, so if you show a lack of courage in your outward appearance, your team members may start to doubt your ability. Harvard professor and social psychologist Amy Cuddy suggests standing in a ‘power pose’ for two minutes (think Wonder Woman and Superman!) to help project an air of total self-confidence.
2. Banish ’imposter syndrome’. Even the most confident people you know have moments of self-doubt in their job, thinking that someone is going to suddenly ‘find them out’ and expose them as a fraud. Overcome that feeling by improving your self-awareness, appreciating your strengths, and be reassured by the fact that you’re not alone.
3. Stop being a perfectionist - often, good enough is good enough. Perfectionism can be very destructive so relax your standards when you can. Accept that failure and mistakes are par for the course - if your plans don’t work or you encounter any setbacks simply learn from these and move on.
4. Acknowledge your strengths. Try to find ways of sharing these with other people rather than focusing on your shortcomings. For example, if you have great organisational skills, why not volunteer to arrange your next team-building event? Self-confidence will flourish when you share your talents with other people who appreciate them.
5. Try not to care so much about what others think of you. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realised how seldom they do.” Learn to laugh at yourself if you make a mistake, and don’t be afraid of rejection; it’s inevitable, unfortunately, so you will have to deal with it at some point. Overcome this by remembering that what you think of yourself always matters much more than what you believe others think of you.
6. Celebrate and document your successes. Take stock of all your achievements, and keep a note of these, along with any positive feedback you receive. It can be all too easy to forget them, but having them written down somewhere means you can look back on it on those days when you’re not feeling on top of your game. Allowing yourself to be proud of your achievements, no matter how small, is a strong foundation for building your self-esteem.
7. Do something scary. One sure-fire way to gain more confidence is to push yourself to your limits. Whenever we encounter something new or different in our lives, it can appear daunting, and fear and self-doubt are natural reactions. But stepping outside your comfort zone to try something new can reveal skills and abilities you never thought you possessed, which can be a great confidence booster. Start small - it could be as simple as making a pitch or presentation in a meeting or plucking up the courage to speak to someone you admire at a networking event. You’ll probably feel uneasy at first, but remember: it will get easier over time.
8. Surround yourself with positivity. Spend time with people who believe in you and your abilities, who can motivate and support you. And be positive yourself too - smiling puts other people at ease, making them more likely to respond to you in a favourable way.
9. Practice deep breathing. When you're in a scary situation or feeling self-conscious, you can become stressed. Take a few deep breaths to slow the stress response and relax.
10. Put things into perspective. If a situation or feeling is becoming overwhelming, and you’re starting to lose confidence in yourself, take a few minutes to put it into context. How does it compare to what other stuff is happening out there in the big wide world? Chances are, when you think about it this way, what you’re experiencing is pretty small in the grand scheme of things. Instead, try to be grateful for what you do have and focus on what practical steps you can take to help you move on with courage and confidence.
Reference: Amy Cuddy, ‘Your body language shapes who you are’, TED (June 2012). Available at: https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?language=en.
Comments