This worksheet is designed to help us be mindful of our “hot buttons,” those triggers which cause a “knee-jerk” reaction, and allow us to plan a better response.
Trigger: Write down those incidents that trigger a negative reaction for you – traffic, slow checkout clerk, tyrant boss, etc. These triggers could also be events that cause you to act on impulse, for example, seeing a 75 percent off sale which may cause impulse buying, or other events which cause impulse eating or alcohol over-consumption. Just make a list of all the triggers you may experience in your life.
What I Feel in My Body: Now write down what you feel physically in your body. For the example of a sale, perhaps you feel excitement, your heart racing. In a slow check-out lane, particularly if you are in a hurry, perhaps you feel tense, you notice your hands clenching tightly around the cart handle, etc.
My Self Talk: Write down what you’re telling yourself, i.e., “I’ve been working long hours and I deserve to indulge myself in this purchase,” or “It’s Friday, let’s order another bottle of wine, we deserve it for making it through the week.”
My Reaction: Now write down your reaction when you feel these things and hear your self talk. For example, your reaction might be to make a large purchase, or snap at the check-out clerk, or eat the entire dessert.
How I Feel: In this column, describe how you feel emotionally an hour or a day after your reaction. For example, you might feel that once you got back home and saw all the bills piled up on the desk, you never should have spent the money. You may feel guilty or conflicted. “Geez, I have something real similar in my closet already; maybe I should take this back, but shoot, the sale said there was a no-return policy. I guess I blew it. When will I learn?” Or, “Geez, I don’t know what I was thinking. I ordered that additional bottle of wine and somehow the next thing I knew I had a lampshade on my head at the office party . . . man, do I feel stupid. And embarrassed. Do you think anyone will remember on Monday? Yeah, like who won’t . . . “
Damage Done: Think through and write out the cost of reacting to the trigger. “I totally blew my budget again. I’m never going to pay down all this credit card debt if I can’t walk on by these stupid sales.” Or, “I wonder what effect the lampshade incident will have on my chances for that promotion.”
A Better Response: You get the idea. What would be a better choice, a better way to respond (and do I know the difference between a reaction and a response)?
How I’ll Feel When I Choose a Better Response: Great! Proud! I can DO this!
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