Communication 

Listening deeply and openly and sending clear, credible, convincing messages 

 

People with this competence:  

• Are effective in give-and-take, registering emotional cues in attuning their message;

• Deal with difficult issues straightforwardly;

• Listen well, seek mutual understanding, and welcome sharing of information fully;

• Foster open communication and stay receptive to bad news as well as good;

• Communicate clearly, and in a logical, organized manner;

• Speak effectively in front of large groups; and

• Listen to feedback without becoming defensive. 

 

People lacking this competency:  

• Fail to listen, interrupt, and find fault with what others say;

• Are difficult to connect with, are unapproachable and others may prefer to avoid bringing them news;

• Tend to communicate with ridicule, threats or emotional outbursts;

• Lack consideration and tact when expressing opinions;

• Fail to ask others for their opinions;

• Are unwilling to change their opinions;

• May express their ideas or opinions in a dogmatic manner; and

• Are unable to establish rapport with others. 

 

Development tips:  

• Approach people in a positive manner; be open to and verbally welcome their ideas and opinions;

• Build bridges of understanding and cooperation; seek out common interests and goals and speak to those;

• Listen for and customize your communication to the needs of other individuals (i.e., if they need data to make a decision, let them take the time they need to become comfortable with the data; if they need to be acknowledged, recognize them);

• Ask a lot of open-ended, unbiased, neutral questions that lead the conversation in a positive direction;

• Seek first to understand what the other person is saying; ask questions to clarify; repeat back and paraphrase what you think you heard; convey that you have heard them (they won’t hear you until you do);

• Maintain composure, keep your communication constructive, convey your intent to help and support and not diminish, put down or make the other person wrong;

• Communicate clearly and completely; plan your messages ahead of time to ensure the best delivery and reception; and

• Express appreciation often and with genuine sincerity. 

 

Quotes:

“Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.” – Benjamin Franklin 

“Genuine listening means suspending memory, desire and judgment – and, for a moment at least, existing for the other person.” - Michael P. Nichols 

“It’s good to shut up sometimes.” - Marcel Marceau 

 

Great Resources: 

Just Listen: The Secret of Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone, by Mark Goulston, M.D. Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most, by Douglas Stone Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work & in Life, One Conversation at a Time, by Susan Scott

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