Behavioral Self Control 

- keeping disruptive emotions and impulses in check 

 

People with this competence:

• Manage their impulsive feelings and distressing emotions well;

• Stay composed, positive, and unflappable even in trying moments;

• Restrain negative reactions;

• Think clearly and stay focused under pressure;

• Maintain their stamina and performance in emotionally-charged situations;

• Choose not to escalate a problem when attacked, provoked, or aggressively confronted by another; and

• When faced with hostility or opposition, remain “cool under pressure”.

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People lacking this competency;

• React impulsively;

• Get involved in inappropriate situations because they can’t resist the temptation;

• Respond to problems in a non-constructive way;

•  Are quick to anger;

• Tend to be defensive; and

•  May become angry, depressed or agitated when faced with conflicts and stress on the job (may even think of quitting).

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Development tips 

• Self awareness is the first step;

•  Make a list of things that cause you to “lose it” – your triggers or “hot buttons”;

• Write out a strategy to deal with each of these issues the next time they arise;

• Remember, in the moment, to choose a more constructive response when issues come up in the future;

• Watch your self talk – tell yourself what it looks like to stay composed, stay focused & think clearly under pressure.

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“Anyone can become angry – that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way – this is not easy.” – Aristotle “

He who blows his top loses all his thinking matter” - Chinese proverb “As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world... as in being able to remake ourselves.” - Mahatma Gandhi